WHat is the theme of this poem ?Please can someone help me find the theme; I have emotional control and power of love but don't know how to...

I find the theme here to be the power of unspoken emotion, particularly anger.

Clearly a relationship (as well as a person) is in significant danger, but it is not clear weather the danger is this person to whom the narrator speaks or the narrator him/herself.  The narrator is aware that his/her head is full of blood and that this person does not trust him/herself, and at the same time this "burning" anger could very easily become out of control.

The daughter bringing this person back from their "stupid little war" suggests a young couple, perhaps unmarried, smacked in the face with the realities of child rearing and spending years and not just passionate moments together.

The fact that anger has moved the narrator "delicately" suggests that, while this burning emotion has influenced him/her greatly, he/she has ended up ultimately unchanged and "back where he/she started".  This starting point could be anything from "happy enough" to "trapped, but too complacent to put effort into leaving".