Mary, Lady Chudleigh's poem, "To the Ladies" strongly argues that a woman should not give herself up to marriage, for when she does, the individual she was will cease to be: she will belong to her husband, subject to his every pleasure, displeasure or whim.
She begins her poem by stating—with direct purpose—"Wife and servant are the same." It takes little imagination to guess the direction for the rest of the poem. Freedom disappears behind matrimonial promises to "obey." The last two lines of the poem press the author's point home again, warning women that they must protect themselves and "despise" men if they are wise and wish to hold on to the essence of who they are without a husband.
Value your selves, and Men despise,
You must be proud, if you'll be wise.
In Christina Rossetti's poem, "No, Thank You, John," it seems that the speaker is able to follow the advice put forth in "To the Ladies."
The speaker makes no apologies to the ardent and persistent John. She states that she does not love him and has never told him that she did. She insists that there is nothing between them, though allows that other women might welcome his attentions.
The speaker seems to answer his accusation of being heartless, but she does so without apology, stating that he is crazy to ask for a love she does not feel for him.
I have no heart?--Perhaps I have not;
But then you're mad to take offence
That I don't give you what I have not got...
The speaker desperately tries to reason with John, offering a hand of friendship, but she refuses to back down or be intimidated by his tenacity. She asks that they stop arguing or "playing games," and flatly refuses his offer of love.
In open treaty. Rise above
Quibbles and shuffling off and on:
Here's friendship for you if you like; but love,--
No, thank you, John.
The speaker in Rossetti's poem does, indeed, seem to be able to follow the advice given by Mary, Lady Chudleigh.
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