My edition of the story (in "Elements of Literature - Third Course") only has "I remember them vividly now as I desperately pass away the time..." to end the second paragraph.
Interesting difference... I guess I read it as the (much) older Elizabeth looking back fondly on her childhood whilst she is trying to fill her days with actions.
Based on your quote, however, my first reaction to seeing it was that she was speaking to her earlier, pre-end-of-innocence self - wanting to regain that childhood innocence, that time when she had "an unseeing acceptance of things at face value, an ignorance of the area below the surface." Let's face it - life was much less complicated and didn't involve the emotions that the narrator experiences at the end of the story - "ashamed", "humiliating moment" and "wild contrition".
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